To Be Used By Him...

...Oh to be used by Him!
















Different. Most of my life I've felt different.

I remember as a very small child feeling different than most other kids my age. When the interests of others centered around swing sets, dodge ball, tree climbing and hopscotch, my focus was on reading, journaling, writing short stories, music and performing in front of anyone who sat still long enough to listen. As an only child of two full-time employed parents, I was alone. A lot. And I didn't mind. Maybe it's because I really didn't know anything different. And looking back now I'm grateful for those times... those formative years of mine. I know now that God was molding me, shaping me and preparing me for the woman He would use years later.

It was the summer of 1985 when I was first introduced to Jesus Christ. And it didn't take long for me to fall in love. I was only 12 years old, but something changed deep inside of me that summer. And so, began, the calling on my life.

I was about 14 years old when I first felt like God was calling me to be used by Him for big things. Even through those rough adolescent years God was preparing me for greater things. And looking back, His fingerprints were all over my life. Thank you Jesus!

I've come a long way since those awkward pre-teen years, but the fire that raged inside of me as a young lady, still burns strongly today. My prayer life has matured a bit, but my humble request remains the same... "Lord... use me in a MIGHTY way for Your Kingdom! Place people in my life who need to know about You. When others looks at me... may they see your son, Jesus. Less of me, Father, and more of You."

I've come to realize that if you're going to begin asking God to reveal His plan and purpose for your life, you'd better be prepared to MOVE when He says move and GO where He says to go. And it might not make sense right away. From experience, I can tell you that my calling... didn't make sense at first.

For years, even as a full-time church staffer, I steered clear from women's ministry. I'm not sure why... I just couldn't see myself becoming actively involved with other Christian women when there was a dying world out there that needed desperately to hear how much my God loves them. Quite honestly, sitting in a room filled with women who were already intimately aware of the cross, seemed pointless and unfulfilling. Until God spoke to my heart and changed the way I perceived this type of ministry. God began showing me ways in which women have enormous opportunities to change their world in powerful ways and more specifically, how God was going to use ME to accomplish this change. I remember clearly thinking... "This must be from God, because it's not the path I would have chosen." But now that His calling is clear, my purpose has become my obsession. I have no other choice than to obey. Palms up... ready to serve!

I read recently that "if the size of your vision for your life isn't intimidating to you, there's a good chance it's insulting to God." God's vision for my life IS intimidating, it is convicting and it even makes me a little uncomfortable, but God is using me in the midst of my uncertainties. My job is simply to obey. My one true desire is to be used by Him in a mighty way and I believe the best is yet to come.

Sitting in a bible study recently, we were asked how many of us are actually concerned about feeling "significant". I recall being the only woman in the room to raise my hand. And it's true... I've always been a seeker of significance. But it's not just about FEELING significant... it's BEING significant. It is my hearts desire to be used by Him in ways that draw others around me closer to the Father. And I'm ready. Ready to put hands and feet to the vision God has placed on my life.

I first heard about the She Speaks Conference about a coupe months ago while browsing through blog sites I frequent. Lysa TerKeurst of Proverbs 31 Ministries was talking about the conference and the significant impact it was having on women all over the world. And I was intrigued. But I'll be honest, I didn't feel as though attending the conference would ever be attainable for me... a small town girl with nothing much to offer but her broken mess and a God-sized vision.

My heart skipped a few beats when I read about this incredible opportunity to win one of 2 Cecil Murphy Scholarships being offered. What a privilege and an honor to be able to submit a simple blog post entry to win! And I share this passion with so many other wonderfully talented women that I'm certain the choice will not be an easy one to make. I am grateful for the chance and humbled by those chosen by God to make such gifts available

This conference is about receiving the tools and confidence to answer God's call on the lives of women who simply desire to make a difference. And it's really that simple... I want to make a difference. Attending this conference, for me, would be my first steps of obedience to this call.

But you see... even if I'm not chosen to receive a scholarship to this conference, I am still chosen by the One who loved me first. And I am overwhelmed with gratitude because of the gift I have of partnering with the God of the universe to make a difference in my world today that will have significance in eternity!

And it doesn't get much better than that!

Finding JOY in the JOurneY,