ANYTHING, but...

We all have good intentions, don't we? I like to think that we all have good, clean hearts and decent motives.

In my opinion, a great example of communicating good intentions is during a crisis in one's life. Maybe it's a death of a loved one. Maybe it's a season of sickness someone is experiencing, a loss of a job, a fire in a home. An overwhelming situation... a difficult circumstance. We all have those people in our lives who say to us... "Let us know if there's anything we can do." Or, "Just say the word and we'll help you with that!"

Good intentions. Right motives. But has that become the "easy" or "predictable" thing to say? I'm not suggesting that we don't MEAN what we say. I think many of us truly desire to be of help to our friends and family in situations such as these. But offering to help... and doing something, are two totally different things. The talk is easier than the walk... would you agree?

I recently received an email from someone close to me who was expressing their genuine, heart-felt desire to help my family and I as we begin a journey involving an uncertain health care issue with my husband. Oh I believe that the heart behind the offering was sincere, however, it was the words that followed that left me a bit confused. The email went something like this... "I'd like to help if I can with ANYTHING you need, but....."

Following was a list of conditions that would prohibit this person from a full commitment of assistance.

I have to admit that I was a little upset over this. I mean, after all, it's hard enough for me to accept help when I need it, and now this? I've done so much for this person myself. I've helped during their time of need... and now... what about me? Now your helping me is only if it's convenient for you?

You see - inside my heart I knew that the motives were right, but the action steps that followed didn't feel so good. And creeping into my flesh once again, came that ugly me-mentality! What about me? Why not me? Can't they do something for me? Me, Me, Me!

And then it hit me. Almost like a ton of bricks! Isn't that how we are with God? I know I'm guilty of doing this quite often...

God... I will do ANYTHING for you BUT not that!

God, I will do ANYTHING you want, but don't ask me to serve THAT person!
God, I will do ANYTHING you want, but don't ask me to forgive Him/Her!
God, I will do ANYTHING you want, but don't send me to Africa for a year!
God, I will do ANYTHING you want, as long as it doesn't cause me pain.

Anything God...
As long as it doesn't cost me anything.
As long as it's peaceful.
As long as it doesn't bring suffering.
As long as it makes me look good.

We offer God our lives, but we're holding on for dear life praying that by offering anything it will virtually cost us nothing. But that is not an image of true sacrifice. That's living with a me-mentality. It's selfish and it will only cause me to miss out on the fullness of life that God created me to have!

If He's calling us to surrender our EVERYTHING to Him... and I believe He is... than we have to be willing to let go and allow Him to lead. Even if the road is uncertain. Even if we're scared. Even if we experience pain for a little while.

Why? Because Joy comes in the morning (Psalm 30:5), that's why!

We may be a little uncomfortable, but God didn't die for us to live a cozy little life with no trials. He died for us to have life and to have life in fullness. John 10:10 says "My purpose is to give life in all it's fullness." And I believe that living life to the fullness means offering your life as a sacrifice for God and for others ESPECIALLY when it doesn't feel good. Because THAT is true obedience. It's easy to give when we're feeling good. It's easy to give when we have abundance. It's easy to care for others when it lines up with what we have scheduled out for ourselves... but it's much harder to offer our lives when it costs us something. But this is where the blessing of God lives. And it's during these times He wants to teach us more about what it means to look more like Jesus.

If we are going to SAY we'll do anything for God, then we must be willing to DO anything He asks us to do. Period. That means when it's hard, when it's painful, when it's uncomfortable, when it's scary, when it's uncertain, when it's unclear, when it's challenging, when it's risky and when it's unpopular. If it lines up with the word of God and it's clearly something He's asking us to do, then we have to be willingly give up our desires for His. Because dying to self and being filled with Him is the only way we're going to experience the life Christ died to give us.

We need to get to the point in our lives where we are asking God to let us be the vehicle He drives around. Use me, God, to be the thing you use to draw people closer to you. When you say GO, let my feet be as ready as my mouth is!

Finding JOY in the JOurneY,

Random Acts of KINDness # 1

Just imagine what a world this would be if everyone did one KIND thing every day?

I'm starting something NEW on my blog. It's called Random Acts of KINDness Thursday. You can check out the link button over there... on the right side of the blog! :)

Every Thursday I will post a Random Act of KINDness that I was involved with that particular week. I'll also post other random ramblings on the idea of Acts of KINDness and encourage others to JOIN IN on the fun! :)

I believe there is no better way of expressing Jesus' love to a hurting world than through acts of KINDness and it begins with YOU and ME!








This week I paid it forward. I'll admit it was a small thing... but it made me feel so good to do it! I paid for the order behind me in the drive-thru on Tuesday morning. What was more important to me, was that my daughter was able to witness this exchange, which in turn sparked a dialogue between the two of us on what it means to live our lives not for ourselves, but by serving others as Christ served when He was walked this earth. I pray that she will be inspired to "pay it forward" with random acts of kindness in her world and I look forward to seeing what that looks like through the eyes of a 10 year-old. :)

"The purpose of life is a life of purpose." - Robert Byrne

Galatians 5:22-23a... "When the Holy Spirit controls our lives, He will produce this kind of fruit in us: love, JOY, peace, patience, KINDness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self control."

Finding JOY in the JOurneY,

Encouragement

"But encourage one another day after day, as long as it is still called "Today," lest any one of you be hardened by the deceitfulness of sin." Hebrews 3:13

I love the new year. There's just something about it... it's like a fresh start, a do-over, a new beginning. Since I am a person who likes to set goals and measureables, make lists and seize the moment for change, the new year tends to be one of my favorite times of the year!

As 2010 was nearing an end, I began thinking through some of my "new year's resolutions.". I only have 2 main ones, but they're pretty challenging to say the least. I'm going to share one of them with you today.

I have a sticky note that I've place on my refrigerator to remind me of my commitment and help me to stay on track. It says... rather simply... WHO have you encouraged today?

As Christians, I believe the love we have for others ought to naturally flow out of the love we have for the Father. We have an amazing opportunity to lavishly pour out love and encouragement to others because of God's unfailing love for us. To allow ourselves to selfishly hoard that love and not freely give it away is robbing others from experiencing God's love, mercy and grace. By loving other and encouraging each other daily, we are being the hands and feet of Jesus. We are sharing Christ with others and we are pleasing our Father.

My goal for 2011, is to not let a day go by without encouraging someone. It doesn't have to huge. I've discovered that encouragement comes in all shapes and sizes. Encouragement could be...

Sending a card
Making a meal
Giving a ride
Paying a visit
Providing a hug
Smiling
Sending flowers
Expressing how proud you are of an accomplishment
Baking cookies
Shoveling a driveway
Cleaning a house
Offering childcare

The possibilities for encouraging (and loving) one another are endless!

My prayer for my life is that I will be an encouragement to everyone I see. That my words would be uplifting and bring honor and glory to Him. That God would use me to be His hands and feet to a world that so desperately needs Him!

Finding JOY in the JOurneY,

Doing Instead of Saying

Something has been on my mind lately and I'd like to share with you today...

How many times have we heard people say things like this to others going through a difficult season in their lives...

"If you need anything - let me know."

or

"Call me if you need anything."

Sincere people wanting to help. Wanting to do something to aide another one through their time of grief, suffering and pain.

I believe the motives are right. We want to help, don't we? We want to know that others can depend on us if they should need help in an area we can provide for them. And let's face it - we're pretty good at it. We help in all kinds of situations by doing all sorts of good things. We make meals, we provide child care, we give money, we pray for them. But sometimes, too often, we watch at a distance and wait for them to ask us for the help that they need.

I am in no way suggesting that we don't have sincere motives behind offering our help to others. I think most of us desire to actually be taken up on our offer to help. But - what happens when they don't ask.

All too often I've been a witness to people needing help but not knowing how to ask for it. No matter what kind of situation it is - some people just won't ask for help period. Perhaps it's pride. Maybe it's guilt. Just maybe they are too deep in their suffering that they can't possibly think of anything someone else can do that will ease even a bit of their pain. And although we may know something about what their going through - we don't know. This is THEIR journey, no ours.

A year ago a guest speaker named Tim Butler spoke at our church. Tim is a wonderful man, husband, father and counselor, who lost his daughter when she was just a young pre-teen to a terrible illness. Tim knows a little something about grief and suffering, and the desire to be comforted and supported during those days surrounding her death.

Tim suggests 4 guidelines for comforting those in grief:

1.) Make sure you have the right relationship for comforting close up and personal.
2.) Make plans to show personal support; include others if they are like-minded.
3.) Be prepared to find them in bad shape; be mentally prepared to allow them to be real.
4.) Sit with them and be silent; let them break for silence; do not let your anxiety control the conversation.

Tim went on to tell a story that I don't think I will forget. It was a story of practical support during the most devastating time of his life. A neighbor, knowing a little bit about what he was going through, made a decision to NOT ask Tim what he could do for him - but instead, decided to help in one of the most practical ways possible. In a visit with Tim late one evening just a day or so before the funeral, this neighbor told Tim that he had arranged to have a dumpster arrive at his home the following day. He explained to Tim that he knew he'd be needing it with all the visitors they'd be having at the house for the meal following the funeral. He went on to explain, "This is going to be very helpful for you and one less thing you have to worry about. Once it's filled, I'll just arrange to have it picked up."

Wow. This neighbor indeed knew how to be supportive and understood well that Tim would have never thought of this necessary item on his own as he was too knee-deep in his own suffering to even think about it. Or care. Thanks to this neighbor, the dumpster was the perfect way to support and comfort in time of need.

Tim suggests a number of things we should NOT do or say to someone grieving which includes things like:

"If you need anything call me." {They won't}
"I know how you feel." {You can't - this is their journey and everyone's pain is different}
"They are in a better place now." {They may know this to be true, but it doesn't help us when all we want is that person to be back with us}

and don't:
ask, "How are you doing?" {If you are not prepared to share their sorrow}
think you can fix them.
talk if you can't handle silence.

He goes on to provide us with a list of things TO do:

Listen.
Be present.
Laugh with them; weep with them.
Bring up the deceased by name.
Share any relevant stories that you had of their loved one.
Do something they will need/want - without asking.
Stay with them.

Tim goes on to say that perhaps it's just sitting... in the dark with them. And being still. And quiet. He says, "Sit in the dark space with someone you care about until your eyes adjust to the darkness and you can see what they see... that's what a helper is."

This is a real challenge for me. I am CLASSIC at offering my help by saying those words, "Let me know if you need anything." But I PRAY that God will make me into the type of person who gives without being asked. Who serves because Jesus came to serve. Who supports and comforts in tangible, practical ways that demonstrates genuine love for others. May I be used by God to DO instead of SAY I'm going to.

Paying It Forward... Pass it on!

So.. I'm normally not a breakfast eater, but this morning when I left the house I realized I needed to take some cold meds and the side of the bottle strongly advised that I eat something when taking the medicine. So - I decided to stop at Mickey D's for a breakfast of champions... an Egg McMuffin Meal.

When I got up to the window to pay the woman said to me, "No need to worry about paying - the gentleman ahead of you paid for your breakfast this morning!"

WHAT? Who does that?

She went on to explain that almost every day this particular person comes through the drive-thru and he "pays it forward" by paying for the car in back of him. She even said that there are days that it's a little more expensive than normal - but it's okay by him. She said he feels honored and humbled to be able to do for someone else.

Again - WHAT? Who does that?

Well - this man does! And I was quite inspired by that! I have to say - it made my day and it caused me to pause during the hustle and bustle of my day to thank God for this man and to thank Him for all of the blessings He has given to me in my life.

When I got to work this morning, I received a note from a friend. She, too, was "paying it forward" by forwarding me a note she'd received in the signature line of another friend of hers. It said:

"You have not lived a perfect day, even though you have earned your money, unless you have done something for someone who cannot repay you."

Priceless! A perfect ending to my blessed morning.

I'm going to pay it forward. I'm going to encourage my teams to pay it forward. Together - we can change lives by demonstrating Christ's love. Let's be His hands and feet. Start today.

Pay it forward... Pass it on!

Paying it Forward... Part 1

So...there I was in the drive-thru of our local Wendy's restaurant a week ago and God was speaking to me. Yeah - he was probably saying I didn't need the breaded chicken sandwich I was getting ready to order, but that's not what I'm talking about. I felt like God was telling me to "Pay it forward." I know, in theory, what this means, but I wasn't feeling much like doing it on this particular afternoon. I wasn't even sure what God was SPECIFICALLY trying to tell me. See - I'm one of THOSE kind of people. Don't beat around the bush with me - SPELL IT OUT. So... I guess I pretty much shrugged it off and went on with my day. (I'm so stubborn.)

Fast forward to today.

My niece calls me and I didn't get to the phone right away. She called back 2 more times within 3 minutes and I missed every call. (Yeah - darn iPhone sucks lately!) This is how our conversation went...

Tiffany (my niece): "Aunt Wendy - you know a LOT of people, right? And you practically know EVERYONE in your church, right? And your church is really big, too, right?"

Me: "Um.. yeah, I guess. WHY?"

Tiff: "Well - do you know a guy named Rob? He's between 40-50 years old, stocky with a black mustache."

Me: "Tiffany, honey, I'm good, but not THAT good. What else you got?"

Tiff: "That's it. Do you know who I'm talking about?"

Me: "Um, not really. I don't think. Give me a minute."

So our conversation went on just like this for a couple minutes. It was quite amusing. I love Tiff. She's like my first daughter. That kid makes me smile!

In short, here's what happened...

Tiffany has been struggling to make ends meet for the past week or so. Her boyfriend doesn't have steady work, she is a FULL-TIME student on top of working almost a FULL-TIME job and she's a new mom to 7-month-old, Jayvian. She has big bills now that she's never had to deal with before and she's trying REALLY hard to make ends meet. Did I mention, she's a GREAT kid with a GREAT head on her shoulders? Just down to pocket change until her next paycheck comes in at the END of this week.

She attends school in Toledo and knew she would need gas money for the week, so she asked to borrow $25 from her grandma, of which she would pay back as soon as she got paid. Note: she is very true to her word, so grandma obliged!

Well, we all know how far $25 will take you - and these days, it's not very far. It wasn't. She ran out of gas 1/2 way through the week.

She remembered that she had $8 left on a Wal*Mart card and decided to head there to spend what she KNEW was remaining on her card. As she attempted to swipe her card - it was clear that there was nothing on it by the loud voice telling her to "PLEASE PAY INSIDE."

She stood in the heat, baby in the car and cried. She didn't know what to do.

That's when her angel came up from behind her. We'll call him Angel Rob. He told her that he wanted to pay for her gas and proceeded to pump $25 worth of gas into her tank.

She cried harder and told him that he didn't need to do that. In fact, she even asked "Why are you helping me?"

His response was priceless... "Because we're all down on our luck once in a while and it's my way of PAYING IT FORWARD." (OK God, there it is!)

When the gas was pumped and paid for, Tiffany turned to him and asked what his name was. He told her it was Rob. She said, "How can I ever repay you, Rob?"

Another priceless answer...

"I just want you to pay it forward to someone else the next time you see someone in need."

WOW!

Tiffany - thank you for sharing this story with me.
God - thank you for using my niece to show me what you want from me.

Rob didn't want anything from Tiff other than to pay it forward. No reward is greater than knowing you are making a difference in someone else's life!

It's time to PAY IT FORWARD.

Part 2 coming...