Giveaway Winner

The winner of the Bible Study Workbook for Duty or Delight is...





















Thank you Diane for your entry and congratulations!!! I will be emailing you soon.

We pray that you will enJOY Duty or Delight and that it will strengthen your walk with Jesus!


Finding JOY in the JOurneY,



www.wendybender.blogspot.com

A Giveaway!

It's THAT time again... time for another book Giveaway here on The Journey!!!

I am super excited to announce our next Women of Thanks bible study!

Thursday evenings, beginning April 19, we will be offering a brand new bible study entitled Duty or Delight.

















This 6-week bible study written by bible teacher, Tammie Head, is sure to challenge us as we discover God's best for us.

God is not looking for us to perform for Him, He's looking for us to delight in Him. Many of us hit invisible barriers when we seek the Lord with questions like:

~ Is God happy with me?
~ Does He really love me?
~ Am I doing enough?
~ Why do I feel guilty all the time?
~ Why can't I seem to grow more spiritually?

We will embark on a journey together to overcome spiritual insecurity using six foundational truths from Ephesians 1:3-23. We will discover the beautiful news that God has not only chosen us for a deep, soul-satisfying relationship but He also constantly supplies everything we need to know Him this way.

ENTER TODAY to win your FREE COPY of Duty or Delight (a $12.95 value).

To register to win:
Leave a comment on the blog (below this post).
Tell us your name and contact information (email address).
Tell us the area you seem to struggle with most in your spiritual walk or one area you would like to see improved through this study.
Become a follower of The Journey (upper right hand portion of the blog).

Entries must be submitted NO LATER than midnight on Thursday, March 22. The winner will be announced via the blog and facebook (http://www.facebook.com/pages/Women-of-Thanks/201699266562560) on Friday, March 23.

Below is Tammie talking about this new study. Check it out! (Make sure to pause the music below in order to hear the sound)...



I can't wait for this study!

Praying for YOU!

Finding JOY in the JOurneY,



www.wendybender.blogspot.com

Fifteen!

Today is my wedding anniversary. Fifteen years! I can hardly believe it! Where has the time gone? Wasn't it just yesterday when we walked down the aisle? Wasn't it just yesterday when I got butterflies in my stomach at the sight of you waiting for me in that church sanctuary? We were so young. We were so ridiculously in love. We didn't know then all that we know now, but yet I wouldn't trade these past 15 years for ANYTHING else in the world.

You have taught me more about love than any single person on this planet. You have loved me on the worst days of my life. You have forgiven me countless times. You have led our family courageously. You have given more than you have ever expected in return.

You save me every day of my life.

And I am grateful!

Today... I celebrate who we are together. I am convinced that I am better WITH you than I could ever be withOUT you. You... complete me.

Remembering when... and loving you for...

... The time you TOLD Rural Electric that we WOULD have a wedding reception at Sauk Valley in the middle of the worst ice storm this county had seen in a long time. No power... too bad. And guess what? We had a beautiful reception. With heat. And lights. :)

... The time you had Salsaria's deliver food to me when I was home from work and sick in bed. They don't deliver. They did for you!

... When I was in labor with Chloe, our nurse insisted that we have "birthing music" during the delivery. We didn't know what "birthing music" was but that didn't matter. You ran right home to get a CD player with 20+ CD's for me to choose a song for our sweet Chloe to be born to. I fell in love with you all over again that afternoon!

... That first Mother's Day. You went to Bath and Body Works and couldn't decide on which scents I'd like - so you got them all! A bag filled to the brim with years worth of goodies! You knew the way to my heart back then!

... The time you came to my rescue when I had my accident on Ridge Road. "How will I know where you are?" you asked me. "I'm pretty sure I'm the only blue car in the middle of the field." I cried in response. You have always been my Superman!

I love you for so many other reasons..

For always letting me choose where we're going to eat.

For always being on my side... no matter what.

For keeping me grounded.

For scratching my back.

For you honesty.

For the way you love Chloe.

For the way you surrender more bed space just for me.

For the way you love to surprise me.

For the way your eyes light up when I look at you.

For the way you care for me when I'm sick.

For supporting your girls.

For loving animals.

For loving long rides to the lake on Sunday afternoons.

For being real.

For being so selfless.

For being kind.

For leading by example.

For serving God.

For loving me so well.

I love you more than I will ever be able to say! I want to spend the rest of my life loving and serving you with all that I have and all that I am.

All Because Two People Fell In Love,



www.wendybender.blogspot.com

Even When We Can't See

It was a couple months ago and I was having one of "those" days. You probably know what I'm taking about. The kind where when about 9 in the morning you're reconsidering whether it was wise to have even gotten out of bed or not. There was nothing particularly wrong with the day. I felt fine. The sun was shining. But it was just one of those days when my to-do list was overwhelming me and I was all-consumed with the events of the day.

After dropping Chloe, my eleven-year-old, off at school, I began attacking my list. Laundry, dishes, mopping, vacuuming, dusting, organizing, planning for dinner, shopping and paying bills. I had books to return to the library, movies to return to the video store, shirts to drop off at the dry cleaners and tickets to pick up for the upcoming daddy daughter dance. Somewhere in the midst of all of this I had to remember to schedule an appointment to get the dog groomed, pick up a birthday gift for my nieces upcoming birthday party and reschedule a dentist appointment due to an overbooking conflict (their error). I had emails to respond to, homework to check up on and a meeting to prepare for all while trying to figure out IF and WHEN I might be able to get a shower in. (Tired yet even reading this??)

Aside from a few minor hiccups in my day, I managed to get everything on my list accomplished AND make a batch of chocolate chip cookies! Now - before you call me Superwoman, stop right here! In a hurry my lunch consisted of 2 of those cookies and a large Sprite. I'm pretty sure Superwoman would have had time to prepare a much more sensible meal for herself providing much more energy for the hecticness of the day!

When the kids arrived home later that day (my great niece and nephews were staying with us at the time) all they were really concerned about was "What's for dinner?" You see - they had arrived to a clean house. The came in to a vacuumed living room and a stocked pantry filled with food from the day's shopping trip to the market. They might have seen the mess that morning, but upon entering that house that afternoon, they came into a perfectly spotless environment.

What they didn't see was the work it took to get it like that. What they didn't realize was that their mama was working hard behind the scenes to make sure that they were taken care of. What they didn't see was that they had someone who cared so much for them that they were willing to sacrifice a day of sanity so that they could enjoy an evening of peace.

And it started me thinking... isn't that what our Heavenly Father does for us?

Think about it...

Think about all the work that is involved with making sure we are taken care of. Like that near-miss accident this morning on your way to work. That guy who swerved the center line just before passing you on the express way. Had you been a couple minutes earlier, he might not have missed you and things could have been so much different.

Or what about the storm that hit just as you arrived safely to your home?

Or all the green traffic lights you were able to hit on your way to the hospital to be with a loved one in an emergency?

You see God is constantly working behind the scenes to make sure we... His children... are taken care of.

He protects.
He provides.
He loves.

Oh how He loves!

One of my favorite passages of scripture is found in Exodus 33.

Moses was given clear instruction by God that he would be the one to lead God's people, the Israelites, out of Egypt. However, due to their disobedience and stubbornness, God was going to send an angel to travel with them. This displeased Moses and he responded to God saying, "If you don't personally go with us, don't make us leave this place." (vs 15). Moses knew how necessary it was for God to travel with them personally. He knew that God's presence among them set them apart from all other people on the earth. He knew that apart from God - he could do nothing.

Verses 20-23 just might be my favorite. These verses reflect God's amazing goodness as He changes his mind and decides to go personally with Moses on this journey.
"'But you may not look directly at my face, for no one may see me and live.' The Lord continued, 'Look, stand near me on this rock. As my glorious presence passes by, I will hide you in the crevice of the rock and cover you with my hand until I have passed by. Then I will remove my hand and let you see me from behind. But my face will not be seen.'”

Moses was told not to look at God's face directly because God's face shown so brightly that anyone who looked upon His face would surely die. God allowed Moses a glorious experience - and to see a glimpse of His glory - but He would not allow His face to be seen. Instead, He would show Moses His goodness, and express His character, marked above all by mercy and compassion.

God did something so compassionate in verse 22, it nearly brings me to tears... "I will hide you in the crevice of the rock and cover you with my hand until I have passed by."

Oh friends! Isn't this Good News?? Isn't this just like our gracious Father to protect us in this way? Isn't this God's working behind the scenes on our behalf?

We are on His mind constantly. I do believe that.
Our protection, our well-being... they are always on His to-do list.

"And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them." (Romans 8:28)

He is working it out girlfriend! He's got this! Give it over to Him and allow Him to show off His mercy, grace and love!

Hugs!

Finding JOY in the JOurneY,



www.wendybender.blogspot.com

Week Five: A Perfect Mess

It was another exciting night as we continued our journey through A Perfect Mess by Lisa Harper. Chapter five, When God's People Lose Their Groove, proved to be another rich chapter as Lisa shared with us, her readers, how God's love frees us to grieve honestly while never losing sight of the supernatural hope we have in Him.

The basis for this chapter was this... What does Psalm 42 teach us about dealing with our less-than-lovely emotions?

What? Less-than-lovely emotions? Are you kidding me? Are Christians entitled to having less-than-lovely emotions?? Really?

Well I certainly hope so!

Last night I shared very openly and candidly with our women's group about my most recent messy-life story. I bore my soul about a situation that happened recently with my daughter and how I let my less-than-lovely emotions get the best of me during an event that should have been nothing less than joyful for her. But thankfully we serve a God who is bigger and better than any problem we face. Thank God for His mercy and grace and for allowing us second chances as we struggle through the failures and frailties this side of Heaven. And as Lisa says on page 77, "Thankfully, the gospel frees us from pretending everything in our life is honky-dory when it's not. God doesn't demand that we be perpetually perky." I really needed to read this... especially this week!

We see a sort of internal wrestling match going on in Psalm 42 as the descendants of Korah express their obvious lament for happier times in their lives. You can see the struggle they had between knowing that their God was the rock of their salvation and finding hope and strength in Him, all the while feeling so defeated by their obvious struggle. It's clearly demonstrated in verses 9 and 10 when these words were penned from utter despair... "O God my rock,” I cry, “Why have you forgotten me? Why must I wander around in grief, oppressed by my enemies?” Their taunts break my bones. They scoff, “Where is this God of yours?”

And isn't that our struggle at times. Lisa describes an example of this on page 80. Our mind wonders why suffering takes place at the very same time our hearts are praising along with "How Great Is Our God" on Sunday morning. Hands raised with heavy hearts.

I remember a time recently when I experienced this type of lament. When I felt this sort of wrestle with God.

It was 4 days before Trevor's surgery (a major life-threatening surgery) last June and I was at church. Here I was... a believer. A Christ-follower. The first person to tell about the goodness of a merciful God and yet I couldn't stop the flow of tears from my eyes as the worship music began. I knew my God "had this" and that no matter what the outcome would be - God was still good and I was still loved. But even as my head was filled with this knowledge, my heart was hurting and heaving for all that we were facing as a family. I can relate to the words of Psalm 42 as these were my own in those terrifying days of uncertainty.

And so I was comforted when I read Lisa's words on page 81... "There is no shame in confessing we feel far away from God; it certainly doesn't surprise Him."

We all face those times when we feel as though we've lost our groove. And you know what? It's okay! Psalm 42 "reminds us of the freedom we have to pour out the messy sorrows of our hearts to our heavenly Father instead of trying to suppress the sad stuff." (Page 83.)

I was stopped dead in my tracks as I read the line on page 83 that says, "And trying to cruise through life in the single gear of 'happy' makes for an ineffective witness. How can we expect others to connect with our faith story when we've edited out the hard parts, the parts they most identify with?"

WOW!

And so... I ask you this...

Are we becoming a road-block for people on their faith journey because we lack authenticity and a life that demonstrates our weaknesses thus highlighting God's goodness through us?

Our society tends to think censoring our pain is the real deal... but I disagree. I think it's time to "do real" with others. Just be real. By being real we will allow them to see that God can do so much more with us through our brokenness than He would ever be willing to do with our attempted perfectionism.

Lisa says on page 85, "Some of the most joyful people I know - certainly the most believable believers - are those who've waded honestly through woundedness. Those who've trudged through difficult seasons only to come out communing with God more deeply."

Through our brokenness... we can be made whole with our Savior.

And she says it again on page 86, "Authentic joy is often forged in the kiln of ache. Horrible messes really can lead to hope-filled messages."

She ends with this most beautiful imagery on page 87... "When we tell God where and why it hurts, we will experience divine embraces that last until our souls stop quivering. We will hear comforting whispers that mute our cries of distress. We will sense nail-scarred hands, reaching down to tilt our faces toward Him, followed by the promise, "I'm right here... I'll never leave you."

Oh thank you Jesus!

And so I end with asking this question of you... What happened on your most recent terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day?

Tell God about it. Tell Him where it hurts and how horrible you feel. He understands the suffering. Remember - He too felt the shame of undeserved punishment. He felt alone and deserted. He felt rejected and abandoned. He knows. He cares. He loves and He has promised to never leave you or forsake you.

He can and WILL use you if you give Him all of the broken pieces of your life.

You are beautiful. You are loved. You are a child of God.

Finding JOY in the JOurneY,



www.wendybender.blogspot.com

Week Three: A Perfect Mess

Wow! If there was a chapter that has ever hit me square between the eyes... it was this one. Chapter Three: Tumbling Toward Approval, was indeed a chapter this weary soul needed to read. And will need to keep reading in the future I'm sure of it!

This week our Psalm focus was Psalm 139... and how it describes the way God sees the beauty behind our blemishes. I love the quote she highlights at the beginning of the chapter... "Unfortunately, often our faith doesn't penetrate to our unfavorable feelings about ourselves." - Marva Dawn.

And isn't that true? We know we serve a God who loves... we know the scriptures are clear about the way He loves and we tend to believe it with our whole hearts yet its often hard to accept the personal application to our lives. We struggle with the hard questions like "I know God loves me, but how can He love me intimately?" and "How can God love me after the messes I've made?" These are questions I know I have wrestled with in my own life. And more often than I'd care to admit.

My personal struggle isn't that I don't see how God could love me intimately or even after the messes I've made (and I have had my FAIR SHARE of mess-ups in my life). My struggle seems to be with the expectations I put on myself. The expectations to be perfect. I seem to struggle with the person I am and the person I know God has called me to be. It's the gap between that seems to be my biggest weakness. This hole leaves room for doubt. I place so many expectations on myself that when I fail at any of these I feel as though I've disappointed more than just me. I feel as though I have let others down and fear that God will be displeased with me as well.

I hope I'm not alone in this struggle.

On page 43, Lisa says, "It's easy to fall prey to the feel-good addiction of other people's approval." But she continues, "life-by-scorecard is exhausting."

I've been there before. Saying yes to anything I was asked to do just to be accepted and respected. Always trying to outdo my last big thing so that others would take notice and perhaps like me more. And so much of these feelings stem back to our youth, don't they? If you're like me, you spent years trying to make your daddy proud of you. Maybe this manifested itself in negative ways - like acting out to get his attention. Perhaps we had a mom who demanded excellence from us leaving us feeling as though we could never quite measure up to her expectations. Maybe your parents expected all A's from you on your report card, so when you brought home that C+ in Biology your Junior year of High School, they're disappointment in you was almost unbearable. Maybe it's a boss you've always worked so hard for or a husband you're always striving hard to please. But chances are - at some point in your life you've struggled with gaining approval of others. In one way, shape or form, you've wrestled between the excellence factor and the label of perfection.

Lisa begins the introduction of Psalms 139 on page 44 with these words, "On those days - or weeks! - when we feel like we don't measure up, like our lives are one long blooper reel, we can find hope in what King David wrote in Psalm 139: 'O Lord, You have searched me and you know me.' (Psalm 139:1)"

We continue on with more of that same Psalm, "You know when I sit and when I rise; You perceive my thoughts from afar. You discern my going out and lying down; You are familiar with all my ways. Before a word is on my tongue You know it completely, O Lord." (Psalm 139:2-4).

Ladies - God KNOWS us. He knows our thoughts. He knows our ways. He knows us completely and intimately. And I don't know about you - but that is reason enough to SHOUT with joy!

Lisa says on page 45, "He doesn't merely deliver me, but wholeheartedly delights in me." Amen!!

I had a recent experience with my daughter that left this mama reeling with emotions. Chloe is 11 and she is really struggling in her sixth grade year! I have to admit that I saw it coming. I remember my sixth grade year and I can honestly tell you that it was the worst year of my entire school career. But Chloe has always LOVED school... so it's been completely out of character for her to come home in tears day after day expressing her sincere detest for school. It's gut-wrenching to see her precious face marked by sadness when just last year she craved school on a daily basis.

One evening as I was on my way to bed, I heard some whimpering coming from Chloe's room. My first thought was that she didn't feel well, but upon further investigation I discovered it was, once again, tears of sadness at the mere thought of facing another day of school.

We spent some time talking about "so-called friends" who had changed and no longer hung out with her. We talked about bullying and how hard it was to stand by and be a witness to sixth grade injustice. And I tried like any good mom to reassure her that these times, they would soon pass. That these kids, they all still liked her and furthermore were probably going through the same emotions as her. That these experiences, were something each of us had to go through. I tried to explain that God calls us to go THROUGH these difficult situations, and not just "in" to them, expressing to her that there would indeed to a light at the end of the tunnel. But as hard as I tried to explain away these frustrations, the more I realized all she really needed was a mama who listened. All she really needed was for me to "know her" and "love her" intimately enough to not allow her to be alone in her misery. So - - I crawled right up beside her in her bed and with my arms wrapped snug around her... I cried with her.

I knew no other way to comfort her soul... but my prayer was that my presence with her on that Sunday night, would be felt by her years later as she recalled the difficulty enduring sixth grade.

And oh that's so much like our Heavenly Father! On page 47 I find Lisa's words so comforting, "On our worst days, when we're trying to hide our misery or conceal our failures, our perfect God doesn't stand at a distance, waiting for us to pull ourselves together. He crawls right in beside us, amid the dust bunnies and clutter of our lives, to show that we're never alone in our messes." She continues, "No matter where we go, no matter what we do, God is with us. His holy hands won't let go of us."

He crawls right in beside us! What wonderful imagery!

Psalm 139:13-14 says, "For You created my inmost being; You knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise You because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Your works are wonderful, I know that full well."

Ladies... WE are fearfully and wonderfully made! And more reassurance comes from the pages of 48 & 49, "Before your biological dad ever made the first pass at your birth mom, God knew there would be a YOU. He planned your first breath long before your mama's obstetrician smacked you on your bare bottom. God fashioned every cell, sculpted each bone, and painted the color of your eyes and skin. Then He stepped back and said, 'Isn't she lovely?'"

Isn't she lovely?? (You've got that Stevie Wonder song stuck in your head now, don't you? ;)

You see - there is no one we should aim to please more than our Heavenly Father. He adores us. We are His craftsmanship and His prized possessions. He longs for us to spend our lives concerned only with what He has to say to us and about us.

"God's love frees us from performing so we can relax and rejoice with the assurance that He knows us completely and adores us just as we are." (Page 53).

At the end of my life I long to hear the words, "Well done, good and faithful servant." And really... that is all that really matters.

Thank you for continuing on this journey with us through A Perfect Mess. I trust that God is working on your heart as you seek to please Him!

Finding JOY in the JOurneY,



www.wendybender.blogspot.com

We Forget

Unfortunately I had a less-than-lovely encounter with someone this morning that left me feeling a bit disheartened. And I hate it when that happens. I hate it when I allow someone else's bad mood to interfere with my joy... I really do.

My daughter had a 4-hour play practice this morning at 10 at the school. It happened to be on the side of the school that isn't unlocked on the weekends which made it pretty difficult when we arrived.. on time.. to a prescheduled practice yet unable to get in. Thankfully there was another student who had arrived a bit earlier who graciously held the door open for us or we wouldn't have been able to get in. We would have had to get back in the car, drive around to the other side of the building to see if that door was unlocked which would have made us late for practice which would have cost us as the director charges for every minute you're late (which I am not arguing isn't a good idea... I find lateness totally intolerable).

As we made our way in I thought it would be a good idea to tell the director about the experience we had and let her know that the doors to that side of the building were not unlocked. I thought it would be something she might want to be aware of. Since we struggled to get in, I was certain there would be others who would struggle as well and perhaps she had something to wedge in the door to keep it unlocked for others. Her response was, "I don't have anything in my back pocket." She then proceeded to tell me that the others would need to figure out a way to get in. She and the others were where they needed to be. They were inside the building... warm and safe and taken care of. But there were others who would struggle to get in and be left out in the cold because we failed to offer them a way in or at the very least, provide a way to warn them about the locked door.

As I walked back out of the door and to my car I noticed that there were several kids who were walking back to their own cars after having attempted to come in before noticing that the doors were locked and there was no access. Thankfully I was able to catch a few and help to let them in before I had to get into my own car and drive away.

As I drove away I began to think of this scenario from an eternal perspective...

Isn't this sometimes how we Christians can become?

We accept Christ because of a sacrifice someone else made to get us there. Maybe it was a school teacher who spent some extra time with you because she saw so much potential in you. So you ended up having conversations about Jesus with her and because of the investment of her time, you accepted Christ as your Savior. Maybe it was a coach who became your mentor and through his personal sacrifice of spending quality nights away from his family while coaching and mentoring you, you surrendered your life to Christ. Maybe it was a singe parent or a best friend or a Sunday School teacher or a pastor. But more than likely, there was someone who gave up something to share the gospel with you. Someone invited you to church, someone prayed for you or someone read scripture with you... but chances are someone in your life cared enough about you to make sure that they would see you again in eternity.

So what happens to many of us after we have crossed the line of faith? Unfortunately what happens to so many of us is we forget. We forget what it's like to be on the outside. To be searching. To be lost. To be afraid. To be without Jesus. We forget. We become numb to the hurting world because of our security. You see - we're safe. We've got our act together. We know where we're going... but we forget that there's a hurting, dying world out there lost without Jesus. We forget that we might be the only link they have to a Father who desperately longs for a relationship with them. We forget.

When we accept Christ we're safe. We're an insider now. We... like those few kids and the director who made a way inside the doors this morning... are warm and content. They found their way. But what about the others? What about the ones who were left outside? With no way in? The ones who were left out in the cold? What about them?

Isn't it our job to spread the Good News of Jesus to the world? Mark 16:15 says, "Go into ALL the world and preach the Good News to EVERYONE." (Emphasis mine.)

And this was Jesus' command to us believers. I don't think it was a suggestion - but rather an order. And it was intended for ALL the world - not just a few. He said it pretty plain and simple... everyone.

Paul says in 1 Corinthians 11:1, "Be imitators of me, as I am in Christ." And wasn't it Paul who turned from Christian Persecutor to making his life's missions to see to it that the Gospel was presented to as many as he could?

There is a hurting world out there who needs to know how much God loves them and what great length He went to to prove it. There are literally hundreds of thousands of people who will suffer an eternity separated from God because they don't know this man named Jesus who had them in mind when He hung on a cross for their sins. Salvation is not just for you and for me... it's for everyone. It's to be an offer for all people of all tribes and nations. Salvation isn't something we take for ourselves and hide from the world. It's something we were made to share. It's something we were meant to pass along. It's a gift that we received and that gift is to be given away so that others can experience the same freedom we've found.

I don't believe God intended for us as Christ-followers, to stay inside our warm, safe homes and churches and schools, while there are cold, hurting, hungry people who will miss out on the greatest gift ever given if we don't do our part to introduce them to Him.

It's up to us. We have the choice. We can either hang a sign on our door that says, "The door is locked - good luck finding your own way in" or we can unlock the doors, creating a way in for lost people and embrace them with the love of Christ.

Let's not forget that we, too, were once lost...

Finding JOY in the JOurneY,



www.wendybender.blogspot.com

Week Two: A Perfect Mess

I am blessed beyond measure for the privilege and honor of being with some amazing women on Thursday night. I know I'm sounding a bit like a broken record, but there is no where else I would rather be than with these ladies for this hour and a half on Thursday night! Thank you, Jesus, that you made a way for us to study Your word and for loving us enough to meet us where we are but for not being content to leave us there. I am in awe of Your mercy and grace!

Chapter two, Leaping Over Legalism, proved to be another rich chapter as we discussed the ways "religious rules" can get in the way of our relationship with the Father.

It was my Senior year of high school and I was... well... to put it mildly... a little on the rebellious side. I didn't care for "rules" so much. I don't think it had as much to do with rules not applying to me as much as it did with my inherit desire to see how far I could test the waters and get away with something clearly identified as a "rule". I knew rules applied to me. I knew I was expected to follow them, I just wanted to push the limits as far as I could to see if I could actually get away with disobedience.

And it worked a lot of the time. It worked for me my Junior year when our skirts would get measured at the beginning of the school day to make sure they were to the knee or below. I'd get measured and then immediately run to the bathroom where I would hike it up and roll it down at the waist in order to look cooler with a shorter skirt. And it worked my Senior year when I would park in the teachers lot because it was closer than the Senior lot and no one ever noticed. Well.. until that teacher came back from maternity leave. And even then I figured something else out that worked even better.

And here's the thing... I know we have rules to live by. I know that. I know you shouldn't kill your neighbor. I know you should drive the speed limit. I know you should not wear white after Labor Day. I know these things. But I just wonder how many of our "rules" as Christians are actually tripping up new believers in such a way that it's actually turning them off to their faith in Jesus.

I heard the lyrics to a song the other day that made me thing of this very thing. It's called Jesus Friend of Sinners by Casting Crowns. There's a line in the first verse that says, "People are on there way to Jesus, but they're tripping over me."

I don't want to be a stumbling block for people. I don't want to be in the way of their authentic relationship with their Savior. Just the opposite. My heart's desire is that when people who are non-believers look at me - they will see something in me that they want for themselves. In other words... I want God to use me in such a way that my daily walk with Him alone will make such an impact on the world around me that they, too, will want to know how they can have a relationship with the Living Water.

That is my sincere desire and my daily prayer for my life.

But living in our world is messy. It's difficult. And often times painful... even (and sometimes especially) for Christians. We give our lives to Christ with sometimes a view of perfection for our future, yet the opposite is true. Carrying the cross... which Jesus instructs us to do (Luke 9:23)... is a difficult task. A serious act of obedience and a necessity of Christian living.

And there's clearly been rules spelled out in scripture that we must live by if we desire to live a Christ-filled life. Rules like the ten commandments which God designed for our protection and well-being. But focusing on rules as opposed to a relationship can often times be a deterrent for a seeker in search of grace.

I love what author, Lisa Harper, says on page 29, "Walking in faith means trusting in God alone, not in what we say or do or wear. It means being honest about the fact that each of us is a mess and we need God's mercy. It means recognizing our complete dependence on His protection, provision, and providence."

She goes on to say on that same page (29), "I think fixating on our own competency - or obsessing over our incompetency - is one of the biggest mistakes believers make. Because when we focus all our energy on trying to be in control, we forget our innate sinfulness and our desperate need for God."

Our Psalms verse this week is Psalm 62. It's a psalm written by King David during a time scholars believe he was facing a family crisis involving his son, Absalom, who betrayed his father in some of the worst ways imaginable. In the beginning of the Psalm (vs 2) David pens these words, "He only is my rock and my salvation, my fortress; I shall not be greatly shaken." However, when you hop over to verse 6, David seems to have shifted his thinking and gained some strength by saying, "He only is my rock and my salvation, my fortress; I shall not be shaken."

I shall not be shaken. Period.

Lisa writes on page 33, "David's still the same mistake-prone man he was when he started the Psalm. In fact, the slight mood swing from verse 2 to verse 6 reflects the genuine wrestling of a regular guy, not the fake piety of someone pretending to be perfect. David isn't playing the part of a big hero here; the Holy Spirit just reminded him of how huge his God is."

I wrote at the bottom of my page, "In our weaknesses and inadequacies - our job is to make God great through them."

And you have to love what she says on page 34, "No one but God deserves our absolute devotion. Whether prosperous or poor, human beings aren't worthy of worship. If we put our hope solely in humanity, were going to need a whole lot of Prozac." Amen to that!

Lisa ends the chapter with this on page 36, "God's love frees us from meaningless rules and religious propriety, which means we can live authentically and abundantly by relying on Him instead of ourselves."

Here are some of my bottom lines to this chapter:

We, as believers, are called to stand out. To be set apart from the world. But we can't allow our rules and regulations to misguide people who are in desperate search for the Savior.

We must seek God's face daily and listen to what He has to say to us.

We must recognize our complete dependence on His protection.

God used David in a mighty way in spite of all of his failures... because he learned how to give praise to God in and through anything and everything.

It's not about us - it's all about Him.

Thank you for joining us for another week of A Perfect Mess. I believe God is just getting started with the transformations He wants to make in our lives! Praise Him!

Enjoy reading friends!

Finding JOY in the JOurneY,



www.wendybender.blogspot.com

Week One: A Perfect Mess

I have the sincere blessing of meeting with some wonderful ladies every Thursday night for a book study. No where else I would want to be on a cold, snowy Thursday night! This will be our second study since the inception of Women of Thanks and we are studying an amazing book entitled A Perfect Mess by Lisa Harper. Lisa describes her book this way...

"On those days when french fries litter the floor of your minivan, when you think bad words about other drivers, when your smile hides an anxious heart - in those moments when you fall short of all you'd hoped to be - what does God see when he looks at you? In your less-than-lovely moments, God sees a precious daughter in need of His perfect love."

Lisa is a master story-teller who weaves her real-life stories with humor and honesty. It's a breath of fresh air to read from a writer who is authentic about her faith and how God used her in all of her messes and mistakes, to make significant Kingdom impact on this generation of women!

You can watch more on Lisa here as she describes how she came to writing this book... A Perfect Mess...



What I appreciate about this book is that it takes you through the Psalms in a very practical way. We're not reading about people who had their lives all together. We're not reading about people who were perfect... in actuality, we're reading about people who in Lisa's words are "bemoaning something". People who came humbled before God who were imperfect. Who messed up. Who were broken and weary and tired and weak. And who can't relate to people like that?

As children we loved to play dress-up... but as adults, don't we do the same thing? Don't we try to mask our true feelings in an effort to "compete" for perfection? I know I am guilty of this time and again as I look back over the course of my life. And I'm sure you've found yourself there too... in a similar situation... You're on your way to church... you get into an argument with your husband about the lack of attention he's given you lately, you're yelling at your kids because they made you late AGAIN and you have NO desire to go to that family picnic later in the day that you still have to make eight pounds of potato salad for and you haven't even been to store to get the potatoes yet! Oh - but as you walk inside the church doors, anxiety still at an all-time high, you burst through all smiles. And when someone greets you with "Good Morning, how are you today?" you confidently lie and tell them, "GREAT! How are you?"

Really? Great? And just moments before you were ready to start a war with the very people you love more than anything on planet earth including the family dog?

But isn't this what we do?

Because heaven help us if we don't "appear" to have it all together!

Lisa speaks very clear to this in the opening pages of chapter 1, Walk This Way. She talks about an experience she had purchasing a pair of black, knee-high, leather boots in Chicago with her girlfriends on the night before a big event in which she was a speaker. As much as she loved them - they were extremely uncomfortable. In fact her girlfriends could tell that she was having a difficult time walking in them - but she was not about to let them think they were anything less than perfect! She ends up buying the clearenced boots and wearing them the following evening to her speaking engagement. I laughed out loud when I read her words on page 8, "I no longer had any sensation in my toes. I limped mincingly to the podium and tried to focus on speaking while fearing my feet were in the initial stages of gangrene."

And so the question... when was the last time you hobbled around in pain due to your own foolish choices?

I can think of countless times when I metaphorically "hobbled around" due to some poor choices... Poor eating habits, poor exercising habits, poor choice in boyfriends growing up. You name it! Lisa says it best on page 8 when she says, "we must follow our heavenly Father's path instead of being lured off course by what ungodly people proclaim to be fashionable. And this ode to obedience includes a warning as well: attempting to be hip in ways that aren't cool with God will ultimately lead to hobbling around in pain, separated from the only One who loves you unconditionally."

The Psalm focus for this week is Psalm 1:

"Happy are those who don't listen to the wicked, who don't go where sinners go, who don't do what evil people do."

The Hebrew word for "happy" in Psalm 1:1 can be translated as "blessed". Here we aren't talking about being happy people all the time. People with fake smiles to mask the pain. No. Instead we who know Christ as our personal Savior, understand that there is a BIG difference between being happy and being filled with JOY. This should bring us all a little relief. While we are here in this world there are going to be days when we just don't feel "happy". When the smile won't come... when the road is hard... when the pain runs deep. But we DO have reasons to be women filled with the joy of the Lord. Because when we follow His path for our lives... when we live in obedience to His commands... JOY will come. It will indeed flow from our relationship with the Father.

And the bottom line to Psalm 1 is this: happiness can't keep company with wickedness. We must keep ourselves away from those things that lure us away from the best that God has for us. God calls us blessed. We were made for so much more than this world has to offer!

Psalm 1 continues:

"They love the Lord's teachings, and they think about these teachings day and night. They are strong, like a tree planted by a river. The tree produces fruit in season, and its leaves don't die. Everything they do will succeed."

We are to be like trees planted by a river whose roots grow deep. Nourished. Strengthened. Spiritually healthy. That is God's desire for His children. For our roots to run deep in Him.

Lisa takes us through the New Testament scripture in Matthew regarding sheep and goats. When Jesus teaches on doing to the 'least of these' (including feeding and clothing and housing) He says "Whenever you did one of these things to someone overlooked or ignored that was me - you did it to me". Sheep will be the ones who do this as Jesus... while goats on the other hand will be the ones who didn't do as Jesus and by doing so ultimately ignore and reject Jesus.

I love her illustration of sheep here. And she describes this well on page 19, "they (sheep) have walked closely with Jesus and have begun to mirror some of His mannerisms. It's not that they're inherently better than the wicked guys; sheep and goats are both stinky; hairy manure machines." She goes on to say that "furthermore, my veterinarian friends tell me that goats are actually smarter than sheep. That means that sheep don't have more intrinsic value than goats. The real reason they're elevated in this gospel imagery is their relationship with the Shepherd."

So - wait a minute. Goats are the bad guys and they are actually "smarter" than sheep?? It's more proof that God uses the weak in the world to shame the strong (1 Corinthians 1:27). It's another demonstration of sheep being elevated in scripture due to their inherit ability to obey they master. We are ultimately and thankfully separated from the goats because of our RELATIONSHIP with Jesus.

And so the next question... am I a goat or a sheep?

I'm looking so forward to our time together during this study on A Perfect Mess. I believe God is going to do amazing things as we discover all the ways God loves us!!

Enjoy reading friends!

Finding JOY in the JOurneY,



www.wendybender.blogspot.com

Feeling Thankful

Feeling thankful this morning for so many things - I felt like I must hop onto blogspehere and share. Some mornings... well... some mornings I'm simply so thankful that I nearly burst!

Here are some things I'm thanking God for this morning...

Wet kisses from my favorite furry friend, our Golden Retriever, Buddy (who happens to be the best dog on the planet earth!).

Long goodbyes with my husband before he departs for work for the day (overwhelmingly thankful for the way he sacrifices to provide for our family!).

The way the snow glistens in the sun on this beautiful Michigan morning in January!

A working washer and dryer. (Love the swishing sound that the washer makes when it's running. I'm ever-so-grateful for the loved ones I share my life with who make this laundry possible.)

A day off from the busyness of ordinary life for Martin Luther King day... including no school for my daughter, Chloe!

A good nights rest!

Prayer warriors who lift me up in prayer daily.

Friends whom I can feel safe with and trust completely.

My freedom of speech.

God's protection on snowy, icy roads.

Our servicemen and women who are fighting for our country while I live a life privileged by their sacrifices.

Women of faith who have gone before me who were brave enough to stand for what they believed in.

A warm home.

Cell phone service.

Great books I'm enjoying reading right now... (A Perfect Mess by Lisa Harper, Not A Fan by Kyle Idleman, Honestly by Johnnie Moore, A Women After God's Own Heart by Elizabeth George and Women of The Bible by Ann Spangler).

Thank You God for another day of being blessed. Thank You for your provision. Thank You for Your comfort and strength. Thank You that You've promised to never leave me or forsake me. Thank you for Your mercy and grace and for calling me Your precious child even though I am messy and awkward. Thank you for calling me to do Your work even through my own failures and fusses. You are a great God and I am in awe of Your presence in my life.

How about you? What are YOU thankful for today? I'd love to hear!!

Finding JOY in the JOurneY,



www.wendybender.blogspot.com

Is God Calling YOU?

From the blog archives...









Moses was 80 years old when God called him out of a foreign land as a lonely, rejected shepherd, and on to bigger and better things. God revealed to Moses that he was sending him back to Canaan, but only after Moses spear-headed the charge rescuing the Israelites from slavery in Egypt. Odd story, I know, but God made a decision to appear to Moses in a burning bush.

Let me stop right there. A burning bush?

How scared do you think Moses was? There he was - tending his flock of sheep. Minding his own business. Satisfied with his life. Content. Perhaps even peaceful about where he was in his life. He was 80 years old. He was probably settled into his lifestyle. And then... one afternoon... everything changed. Everything changed.

The bible says that Moses was amazed (love that word) because the bush was engulfed in flames, but it didn't burn up.

I don't know about you - but if I went out to my backyard to tend to my dog and I witnessed a bush engulfed with flames but not burning up... I'd probably run for my life. I mean - I ask God for clarity and wisdom all the time... and to show me clearly His will for my life - but I've got to be honest with you here... I'm not sure I'd have stuck around long enough to discern if this sign was from God or not. I'd have been scared.

But thankfully Moses didn't run. Oh he might have been scared - but he didn't run. Instead the bible says in Exodus 3:4, "When the Lord saw that He had caught Moses' attention, God called to him from the bush, 'Moses, Moses!' 'Here I am!' Moses replied.'

Here I am! Don't miss that!

God goes on to explain to Moses that he's called him to a big task. Perhaps this was the opportunity of a lifetime. God saw the misery of the Israelites in Egypt. He heard their cries and was going to rescue them from slavery in this foreign land. And he was calling on Moses to go to Pharaoh to release God's people from suffering.

A big job. Why? A little back story (the cliffs notes version)...

Israelites were trapped in Egypt and were created as slaves.
Pharaoh was the king of Egypt.
Pharaoh instructed that all Hebrew sons born in Egypt be thrown into the Nile - only allowing the girls to live.
Moses was born as a Hebrew, hidden by his mother for 3 months.
She put Moses into the Nile in a basket - attempting to spare his life.
A daughter of Pharaoh found him and raised him as her own.
Moses lived a life of privilege with the Egyptians.
When Moses grew up he had a real heart for the Israelites and their mistreatment.
He witnessed an Egyptian man beating a Hebrew slave and he killed the Egyptian, burying his body in the sand.
Feeling badly for what he had done, and being threatened by the Pharaoh to be killed, he fled to Midian, built a new life with a wife and son.

And now God was appearing to Moses from a burning bush to ask him to do what? Quite possibly - the unthinkable. Go back to the land he fled, to fight with a new Pharaoh to release God's people from slavery.

I can just hear the confusion in Moses' voice when he says in Exodus 3:11, "But who am I to appear before Pharaoh? How can you expect me to lead the Israelites out?"

I like how Max Lucado describes this in his book, Cast of Characters... "Moses at 40 we like. But Moses at 80? No way. Too old. Too tired. Smells like a shepherd. Speaks like a foreigner. What impact could he have on Pharaoh? He's the wrong man for the job."

And I bet he thought so too.

As often times in the bible - the person God calls is first reluctant. But I like how God responds to Moses through Moses' uncertainty and doubt. He tells him, "I will be with you."

The story continues in Exodus, chapter 4, where we see Moses pleading with God, "Oh Lord, I'm not a good speaker. I never have been, and I'm not now. I'm clumsy with words." In verse 13 Moses begs, "Lord, please! Send someone else."

My commentary suggests that perhaps the reason Moses didn't want this particular assignment was because he had a speech impediment or that maybe all of his years in Midan made his Egyptian rusty. At any rate, he doubted his speaking ability - but God didn't. And as my commentary reads, "Perhaps what God desired was not eloquence or cleverness, but simplicity and directness - not the oily, false-compliment-dripping speech of a courtier, but the bluntness of a working man who hated oppression."

Have you ever been asked to do something that scares you to death? Takes you out (FAR out) of your comfort zone? Have you ever been asked to give your testimony or speak about something in front of a group of people and the idea of sitting in a dentist chair having your teeth drilled sounded far more enticing to you?

I've got to tell you that some of the BEST speeches I've heard in my life have come from unsuspecting speakers. Some of the most gut-wrenching, heart-breaking, life-altering stories have come from ordinary people filled with God's passion and purpose.

I was sitting in church a few Sunday's ago when a young man was invited to stand before the congregation to give his testimony. I could tell from the minute the boy arrived on the stage that he was nervous. Scared. Afraid. I can imagine the thoughts that were going through his mind when he began to tell his story, "Lord, why did I get up here to tell this story? I'm nobody special. I have no real gift in speaking." But as he left that podium that morning, there wasn't a dry-eye in the place. Was it his eloquence? No. Was it his well-crafted biography? No. Was it the music or the way the soft lighting hit the cross behind him on the stage or who his parents were or how much good he had done in his life? No, no, no and no. It was his sincerity. It was his authenticity. It was his willingness to step out of his comfort zone for the benefit of others who's lives might be touched by his transparency and openness.

I've heard a lot of speeches in my life. I've watched a lot of podcasts and I've been privy to a lot of rich talent, but I will NOT forget the audacity of a young man who didn't let fear of rejection, reputation or inadequacies stop him from answering the call of God.

When God called Moses to lead the people out of slavery in Egypt, He knew what He was doing. He called on Moses because he saw in Moses something Moses didn't even see! He saw a man who was faithful. Brave. Strong. Honest. He saw a man of integrity, who feared the Lord. Where Moses only saw PART of the picture (the HUGE request too big for one man to do alone), God saw the WHOLE picture.

I believe what Moses struggled with - we struggle with. Don't we?

It's that little voice inside our heads saying things like:

You'll never be good enough.
You're not smart enough.
They really could care less about you.
You don't have what it takes.

But I believe with all my heart that if God is calling you to do something - He's already equipped you with everything you need to make that something happen! Period. Our only job is to obey Him. Even if we don't understand it all. Even if we don't feel good. Even if we're scared. Even if we think someone else should go instead of us. Our only job is to obey. If (and when) He says to go, we must go.

The choice of obedience is up to us. Will our answer be, "Here I am Lord, send me."? I'm praying every day that I will continue to yield to Him and respond in obedience to His calling on my life.

Philippians 1:6 says, "God began a good work in you, and I am sure He will continue it until it is finished when Jesus Christ comes back again."

Here I am, send me!

Giveaway: Winner!

A couple days ago I announced a book giveaway here on The Journey.

... and the winner of the book is....

MARTHA!

I will be contacting you soon about the details of getting your book to you!

Thanks for those who entered to win! And stay tuned for more giveaways here on the blog!

Happy Reading!

Finding JOY in the JOurneY,



www.wendybender.blogspot.com

A Giveaway!

Well - it's that time again! Time for another GIVEAWAY here on The Journey.

Our next Women of Thanks study will be on the book, A Perfect Mess, by Lisa Harper. In this beautiful book, Lisa takes her readers through the Psalms in a very honest and fun way. She teaches us in very practical ways how we can apply some honest truth mixed with God's graces as we seek to unpack the way God sees us... as His precious daughters in need of His perfect love.













Taken from the back cover...

"In this liberating look at how God adores and transform imperfect people, Bible teacher Lisa Harper weaves poignant stories of her own personal foibles with a fresh take on selected psalms to reveal a loving Father who remains your greatest champion, even when you don't feel anywhere close to Holy. Join Lisa in discovering what happens when we stop trying to hide our inadequacies and doubts and instead trust God with our anger, frustrations, flaws, and regrets. As you accept God's loving invitation to exchange your junk for His joy, you'll find the imperfect pieces of your life shaped into a glorious pattern of divine grace."

Beginning on Thursday, January 12, a group of women and I will begin our 12-week journey through this book together. In addition, I will sharing our insights and some highlights from our group discussions with YOU here online at The Journey.

I am so looking forward to diving in after the first of the year! And I believe this book is going to knock you socks off!

Okay... on to the GIVEAWAY info!

Here at The Journey, I will be giving away ONE copy of A Perfect Mess by Lisa Harper (a $13.99 value). The following are the rules for participation:

1.) Comment HERE on the blog (bottom of this post - click on comments). Provide your first name, contact information (email address), and a little bit about yourself and why you think this book is a MUST READ for you. :)

2.) Submit your entries no later than Friday, December 16, at midnight.

3.) Check back on the blog as I reveal the random winner on Saturday, December 17.

That's it! Simple stuff! One lucky blog reader will win... and it could be YOU!

Ready... set... enter!

Finding JOY in the JOurneY,



www.wendybender.blogspot.com

Weeks 10 & 11: One Thousand Gifts

I was SO sad to see our study of One Thousand Gifts come to an end!! But I am SO grateful to have shared this journey with all of the women who fulfilled their commitment to stick it out with us in our study on Thursday night and SO thankful for those of you who have endured these weeks with us online! As I said in the beginning, this was a project that was MANY months in the making. I did a lot of praying over this particular study and spent literally months praying for the women God was going to bring to this study. I hope this book challenged your thinking on gratitude and thankfulness. I pray that this book has been a blessing to you and that you've been encouraged to share the principles found in this book with those closest to you.

I'm going to do something a little different with these last two chapters and simply jot down a few quotes within the chapters that really struck a chord with me personally. And then, as always, I will add the video sessions at the bottom.

Chapter 10, Empty To Fill

"A life contemplating the blessings of Christ becomes a life acting the love of Christ."

"Jesus is about to let flesh be broken with nail, heart be broken with rejection, the chains be broken with bleeding love. And in His last hours before His earthly end, He doesn't run out to buy something or catch a flight to go see something, but He wraps a towel around His waist and kneels low to take the feet of His forsakers gently in hand and wash away the grime between their toes."

"I am blessed. I can bless. Imagine! I could let Him make me the gift!"

"Christian hands never clasp and He doesn't give the gifts for gain because a gift can never stop being a gift - it is always meant to be given."

"He calls us to serve, and it is Him whom we serve, but He, very God, kneels down to serve us as we serve. The servant-hearted ever serve alone. Spend the whole of your one wild and beautiful life investing in many lives, and God simply will not be outdone. God extravagantly pays back everything we give away and exactly in the currency that is not of this world but the one we year for: Joy in Him."

"The way through the pain is to reach out to others in theirs."

"I give happy thanks for the daily mess with a smile a mile wide, because this is again my chance to wholeheartedly serve God, to do full-bodied eucharisteo with the hands and the heart and the lips. I can count each task a gift, pure eucharisteo. Grace! This work - the thousand endless jobs - they each give the opportunity for one to become the gift, a thousand times over! Because with every one of the thousand, endless jobs, I become the gift to God and to others because this work is the public God serving, the daily liturgy of thanks, the completing of the Communion service with my service."

Here is the video session with Ann Voskamp for Chapter 10. Don't forget to go to the bottom of this page first and pause the music from my playlist on the blog so that you can hear the audio. :)

One Thousand Gifts: Chapter 10 from Bloom (in)courage on Vimeo.

Chapter 11, The Joy of Intimacy

"He will rejoice over you with joyful songs." (Zephaniah 3:17)

"It really is like C.S. Lewis argued that the most fundamental thing is no HOW we think of God, but rather WHAT God thinks of us. 'How God thinks of us is not only more important, but infinitely more important.' Years of Christian discipleship, Bible study, churchgoing had been about me thinking about God; practicing eucharisteo was the very first I had really considered at length what God thought of me - this ridiculous and relentlessly pursuing love, so bold. Everywhere, everything, LOVE!"

"Gratitude is the most fruitful way of deepening your consciousness that you are... a divine choice." (Perhaps one of my FAVORITE lines in the entire book!) ;)

"Nothing I am counts for anything, but all that I count of Him counts for everything - seeing eyes might illuminate the glory of Christ in all."

"... we're called to do more than believe in God; we're called to live in God. To enter into Christ and Christ enter into us - to cohabit."

Here is the video session with Ann Voskamp for Chapter 11. Don't forget to go to the bottom of this page first and pause the music from my playlist on the blog so that you can hear the audio. :)

One Thousand Gifts Chapter 11 from Bloom (in)courage on Vimeo.

Blessings my friend! Again - thank you for journeying with us!! We have LOVED every minute of our time with you!!

Finding JOY in the JOurneY,



www.wendybender.blogspot.com

Lessons On Gratitude

It was a cool spring day. I remember it well. And it had been raining. An ordinary Tuesday morning. Or was it?

We had been to a series of doctor appointments for my husband. And each one harder than the next. I remember how tired I was of hearing the statistics. Each one revealing truth to us that my ears were not prepared to hear.

"You realize, Mr. and Mrs. Bender, this is a risky surgery, don't you?" One doctor had said. So cold. So.... matter-of-fact.

"Doesn't all surgery come with some sort of risk associated with it?" I'd asked. Frozen in fear and retaliating against what I already knew would be his answer.

"Yes. Yes you are right about that. But this one is... well... more risky."

And hadn't it been just 18 months ago that we underwent the same risk? Didn't he know what we had been through? His first surgery was risky. It was on on a business trip in Arizona just before Christmas of 2009. What was supposed to be a routine 4-day trip turned into a 21 day ordeal. A high fever... a severely elevated white blood cell count... a grim prognosis... diverticulitis... doctors preparing for the worst...thousands of miles from his home... a call to a wife with hard news... a ruptured bowel... inevitable surgery...surgeons... complications... respiratory failure... re-intibation... 50% chance of survival...a flight to Arizona... a scared daughter... a frightened wife and mother... a long recovery... painful restoration.

I wanted to run out of that doctors office. I wanted to run and hide and remember a more happier time. A cold, crisp day in March, some 15 years before when we had exchanged wedding vows in the First Presbyterian Church. Weren't we so beautiful then? So alive? So in love? So... whole?

I had known sad days before. I had known bad news before. Like the call we received on a cold snowy day in February that his friend from high school had been killed. Tragically. A car accident had taken the life of this 27 year-old man in front of his own daughter!

Or like the day we lost my sweet grandma. She was seventy year's young when God called her home. And we weren't ready. We weren't prepared. A visit to her bedside as she lay in a white, sterile hospital room were the memories I had of my last words with this sweet lady who had practically raised me!

But this time it was different.

He was my husband. And I wasn't ready to make such big decisions concerning life... and death.

But life is like that, isn't it? Some things sort of sneak up on you when you're not looking.

And I remember clearly the words of a pastor who once said, "You're in one of three stages in this life. You're either just coming out of a tough season, you're in one now or you're getting ready to go through one soon." And it's true. We all land in one of those 3 categories.

And I had already been counting gifts at this time. Knee-deep in a gratitude project I'd started months before. Inspired by a book and based on a dare, I had committed to listing 1,000 things I was grateful for.

Seemed simple really. Who can't find one thousand things they are grateful for? And it's so easy to find the things you are grateful for when you are paying attention...

Your children's laughter
The smell of a freshly baked apple pie
A cool afternoon breeze in the spring
The crackling of a fireplace
A smile
A hug
The birds
The trees

It's all beauty. All around us. And it's when we choose to SEE these things with eyes wide open that we can truly give thanks to the God who created this vast universe with all it's pleasures.

But what do you do when you're counting gifts and the joy doesn't come because all you hear is noise? When the reality of your world is doubting doctors and grim prognosis's and you can't see past today because today is littered with uncertainty and pain and sadness and tears? What then?

And I dig deep into the word to find it and I desperately call on God for help because this journey - it's not easy. And the road is sometimes curvy and the valleys sometimes run too deep and too wide. And we get tired and we loose sight of why we're here.

This... this is reality.

It's reality for cancer patients.
It's reality for parent's who've lost a child.
It's reality for victims of rape.
It's reality for those who've been imprisoned or impoverished.

It's reality... we all hurt sometimes. And I search for what to call it... maybe it's this "fight for joy" that's so hard sometimes.

But we have a word that we can hold tightly too. It's a word I've only recently discovered. The word is Eucharisteo.

The Greek word, Eucharisteo can be found in Luke 22:19... "And He took bread, gave thanks and broke it, and gave it to them..."

Gave thanks reads as Eucharisteo.

And isn't that a beautiful word?

Eucharisteo.

The root word for eucharisteo is 'charis', meaning, "grace". Jesus took the bread and saw it as grace and grave thanks. He took the bread and knew it to be a gift and He gave thanks.

But there's more!

Eucharisteo, thanksgiving, envelopes the Greek word for grace, 'charis'. But it also holds it's derivative, the Greek word 'chara', meaning "joy".

So consider this word... Eucharisteo... like a braid of three cords...

Grace - that which God gives us.
Thanksgiving - that which we can offer back to Him.
Joy - that which can be found in the midst of thankfulness.

And isn't that PRECISELY what Jesus did before He endured the cross.

He "took the bread and gave THANKS."

He gave thanks.

And still... even still... knowing what sort of pain and suffering He would endure... He shared a meal with his beloved disciples and gave thanks.

I find these words breathtaking.

But it's what Jesus came to do. He came to save mankind from their own sin and suffering. He endured the pain that should have been for you and for me. He erased the debt. He went to the cross doing what? Giving thanks.

It was in pure gratitude that He became the least to become the greatest story ever told.

And doesn't God expect the same from me?

Jesus offered thanksgiving for even that which would break Him and crush Him and wound Him and yet yield a bounty of Joy. So that you and I can experience the life filled with joy which is found on the mountain of gratitude.

Gratitude, I believe, can save us from all the pain this world has to offer. And we have REAL pains. REAL problems. REAL sickness and disease and suffering.

Gratitude, according to Psalm 50:23 is directly linked to our salvation... "He who sacrifices thank offerings honors me, and he prepares the way so that I may show him the salvation of God."

And isn't that it? Isn't expressing gratitude often times a sacrifice?

It was for me. On that cool spring day in early 2011.

I will admit the gratitude that had once poured from my lips before that spring day now came to a screeching halt. The words... they wouldn't come. My reality was overwhelming and the mountain was too big. Gratitude would not come easy and this gratitude journal seemed to have become another unfulfilled commitment.

But on that drive home it hit me. On that drive home in that early morning in April God spoke to me as audibly as I have ever heard Him before. In my spirit I heard these words... "Wendy - Trevor is not yours, He's mine. He belongs to Me. And I love him more."

"I love him more."

I can't explain the calm that came over me on that crisp spring morning. The peace was incredible. And now it began making sense.

You see - God doesn't promise us days without rain. He doesn't promise us a life without pain. But when we can take the pain, the suffering, the ugly in this world and turn it in to praise before a Father who's grace is freely given, He can use it and make it something beautiful.

Phil 4:11-12, "I have learned how to be content with whatever I have. I know how to live on almost nothing or with everything. I have learned the secret of living in every situation, whether it is with a full stomach or empty, with plenty or little."

It was Martin Luther King Jr. that said, "If you want to change the world, you've got to pick up a pen." And wasn't that what I was doing - counting gifts... blessings... before I allowed fear and bitterness to settle in and make it's home within me?

"Life change comes when we receive life with thanks and ask for nothing to change."

I had found myself continuing to ask God - why me? Why him? Why now?
But "God wants our questioning of Him to be smaller and or desire for Him to be bigger."

We were created by God - for God. To bring honor and glory to Him. Period. That's it. Why are we so trying to complicate it? Everything we do should bring honor and glory to Him. And how can we do that when we're questioning His goodness? I am reminded of a song that really got me through those few rough weeks before Trevor's surgery this past June... Maybe you've heard it - it's called Blessings by Laura Story. Here's a portion of those lyrics...

"We pray for blessings. We pray for peace. Comfort for families, protection while we sleep. We pray for healing, for prosperity. We pray for Your mighty hand to ease our suffering. We pray for wisdom, your voice to hear. We cry in anger when we cannot feel you near. We doubt your goodness, we doubt your love. As if every promise from your word was not enough. But what if your blessings come through raindrops, what if your healing comes through tears? What if a thousand sleepless nights are what it takes to know your here? And what if trials of this life - are your mercies in disguise?"

When we fail to give thanks... when we fail to extend gratitude - we are basically saying we doubt God's goodness and we don't believe in His sovereignty.

You see I have been abundantly blessed in this life.

I've been blessed by parents who adore me.
Blessed by a wonderful husband whom I don't deserve.
Blessed by a daughter who is smart and respectable and who loves the Lord.
I have a nice house, have had some wonderful jobs, great friends, wise mentors, good health, reliable transportation, and a deep relationship with my Heavenly Father.

But it is only when we are completely emptied that we become most full. Because it's through the cracks that we can see the most light.

I have a pitcher at my house that was broken some years ago. A family heirloom that was shattered into pieces when it fell from the top of our refrigerator some years ago. Not wanting to part with this precious pitcher that had been used to pour drinks from by my grandma and my grandma's grandma, I decided to attempt to put the pieces back together. It was a long process and it took a lot of time and patience. But I was able to restore MOST of the pieces to their original location, forming together once again... a whole pitcher. The one thing it is lacking in it's wholeness is the ability to be used for holding liquids. There are too many hairline fractures that would not be able to withstand a heaviness of water or juice or milk. But that is okay. I can use it for other things. I can use it to remind me that God uses us... in all of our brokenness... in all of our failures... even when we've messed up... even when the joy is gone... even when there are too many cracks in us. God can still use us. I am convinced that that pitcher is more beautiful now than it was before it was cracked - because now it allows the sunlight to penetrate it's porcelain walls. A life's lesson was birthed through that cracked pitcher. And I am thankful for the story I can now share with others who need to hear about restoration and reconciliation. And gratitude.

Because what I have learned is that Thanksgiving is the evidence of our acceptance of whatever He gives.

Whatever He chooses to give.

Eucharisteo... the Greek word with the hard meaning.

I don't want to live in the darkness. I long to live in the light. I long to find the joy that Christ died on a cross for me to have. And so I must learn to accept every gift He gives and receive it with gratitude in my heart and thanksgiving on my lips.

And so my gratitude project continues. And I realize it's not just about keeping a list. It's about making thanksgiving a habit in my daily living. In order to honor Him I must learn how to be thankful with everything and in everything. And so I press forward in my fight for joy. Because pleasing the Father is what is most important... to me! It's the discipline this weary soul needs because though the world is ugly, it is beautiful. And I can slow and I can trust and I can receive each moment as a gift. Eucharisteo. Eucharisteo. Eucharisteo.

And again I read... "Life change comes when we receive life with thanks and ask for nothing to change."

My list continues. Those things I am thankful for? I'm past 700 now in my journaling. Still practicing. Still building the discipline that will draw me closer to my creator.

# 604 Smiles from strangers
# 618 Wind through my hair
# 638 Early morning quiet times with God
# 692 A full tank of gas
# 699 Lazy Sunday afternoons
# 711 A cracked pitcher
# 723 Good... no great doctors
# 740 A husband's restoration of health
# 749 God's mercy
# 754 A second chance

I choose gratitude. Habakkuk 3:18 says, "I will take joy." And I believe it starts with a heart of gratitude.

I choose gratitude. Will you?

Finding JOY in the JOurneY,



www.wendybender.blogspot.com