Serving Your Spouse

I've been thinking about this lately...

What would my marriage look like if I changed my thinking from 'What's in it for me' to 'How can I serve my spouse?'?

I read this the other day and It really struck a cord in me. I've been meditating on it since I saw it...

"Together, you and your mate reflect the image of God on earth." (excerpt from Love & Respect by Dr. Emerson Eggerichs)

"Serving our spouse" is going to look different for each and every one of us. What might work in my marriage might not work in yours, but I think serving selflessly must be a part of every successful marital relationship.

Here's what serving my spouse looks like in my marriage...

- making sure the house is the most comfortable place for my husband to come home to after a long, hard day at the office. Candles lit, floors swept, noise reduced to a minimum.
- preparing his favorite meal
- baking his favorite cookies or dessert
- starting his car for him in the morning (after all - mine is the one that gets the garage all night!)
- running an errand for him
- shoveling snow
- packing his bags for a business trip

I've come to realize that there are SOOOO many opportunities that I have... DAILY... to serve my spouse. I believe it's in those selfLESS acts of love that we show towards others... ESPECIALLY our spouses, that we truly exemplify God's love.

Loving our spouse by serving them isn't always going to be easy. Chances are - there are going to be days when it's downright difficult. After all - there are times when loving those closest to us seems to be hardest things to do. But God had a beautiful plan in place when He created marriage and I believe He longs for us to seek ways in which we can strengthen our marital bonds by expressing our love for each other through acts of service. Jesus came not be served, but to serve others... and we must live by that example if our desire is to please the Father.

I am blessed beyond measure by a wonderful husband who is a perfect example of someone who serves his spouse in selfLESS ways. Just this past weekend, I was away all day to a scrapbooking event. Due to the road conditions, we were very late getting home. Three a.m. late! When I arrived in the door, he was waiting for me. I was hungry and decided to make myself a small meal before heading to bed. Instead of returning to our warm, cozy bedroom - as I am sure he was VERY tempted to do - he stayed up with me to hear about my days' events. And not just for a few moments... but for 2 more hours! I consider this not only an act of service to me - but a complete showering of his love during 2 hours of sleeplessness! I am most grateful to God for this precious man whom I don't always deserve!

Matthew 25 tells of a conversation Jesus was having with his disciples about what it means to serve others. You can read it here. Below is a paraphrase for both husbands and wives. Thought it was great...

The Husband Paraphrase of Matthew 25:35-40

I was hungry for breakfast, dinner,
and sometimes even lunch, snacks,
a kind word, a warm hug, to talk to you,
to be loved by you. …
You gave me something to eat.

I was thirsty to feel accepted by you,
to take the leadership role in our home,
to be admired by you, to be respected by you.
I mowed the lawn and needed refreshing and…
You gave me something to drink.

I was a stranger; my mood was bad.
I had been unreasonable.
I had been mean, thoughtless,
forgetful, unhelpful, self-centered…
you invited me in.

I was naked, you did all my wash—
even when I dropped it on the floor.
You sewed on my missing buttons.
You ironed my wrinkled shirts.
You let me bare my soul to you.
You saw the real me that others never see—
with all my quirks and uncovered ugliness,
and you never exposed me before our children, family, or friends. …
You clothed me.

I was sick—
you know my colds are worse than anyone else’s.
Sometimes I said things to you I didn’t mean.
I got depressed and. …
You cared for me.

I was in prison; my job got to me some days
and I withdrew from you.
When I was lonely you were there for me.
You prayed for me.
When I was consumed with a problem,
when I was unforgiving, when I didn’t deserve anything
because of the way I’ve treated you
and I was so ashamed. …
You came to me.

Jesus would say to you,
“When you did these things for your husband,
you did them for Me.”

The Wife Paraphrase based on Matthew 25:35-40

I was hungry to spend time with you,
needing to sit together, talk together, and be loved by you.
You saw that I was busy doing more than I could handle
and you asked me, “How can I best help you?”
As we worked side by side finishing everything up,
I realized my hunger was being fed
because now we could both relax together …
In this way you gave me something to eat.

I was thirsty to know Christ in a deeper way
and you helped quench my thirst
through washing me with the water of the word
by sharing insights the Lord had given you
during your own devotional time with Him.
You have given me something to drink.

I was a stranger (sometimes even to me);
I wasn’t kind in how I treated you.
And yet you blessed me instead
by finding a way to make my heart smile.
Despite everything, I knew you still loved me.
I’m so thankful for how you find ways
to bring laughter into our lives together.
You invited me in to be your partner.

I felt naked emotionally.
When I needed warmth
because of the cold, harsh circumstances of life,
You wrapped your arms around me
and made me feel secure.
You clothed me.

I was sick and sometimes depressed—
especially when hormonal changes grabbed at me
physically and emotionally
And you looked after me.
And through your compassion,
and your ability not to judge me during those times,
I sensed the love of Christ.

I was in prison—
you’re aware that past insecurities
and hurtful memories revisit my thoughts,
You prayed for me and with me
and gave me the grace and space I needed,
(and sometimes a quiet hug)
until my emotions settled down enough
that I could face things
more sensibly and optimistically.
You came to me.

Jesus would say to you,
“When you did these things for your wife,
you did them for Me.”

Finding JOY in the JOurneY,