Forgiveness

I can't stand to listen to the news any more. I can't. Every time I do - I am left with too much sadness. My heart bleeds for the tragic stories I hear. Every one of them. The other night I literally recorded 12 stories reported by a local station of which 10 were NOTHING but complete and utter devastation. I heard about rapes, murders, house fires, floods, sickness, car accidents and robberies. Almost every one of the stories was BAD news.

I made a resolution quite a long time ago NOT to let that be the last thing my brain absorbs at the end of the evening. But - I have to admit, there are times I just want to check out what the weather will be the next day - but that means listening through the first 15 minutes of depression.

In NO WAY am I downplaying any of these tragedies. I know they are real. People are hurting. People are losing jobs. Neighbors are killing neighbors. What was foretold centuries ago is becoming our reality. These are some hard times and we are, in fact, in the middle of a war zone.

Makes me wonder what God is thinking as he looks at this world He so masterfully created. Does His heart break? Do our actions disappoint Him? Have we made a mess of things? I believe the answer to all of these questions is yes. Nothing catches Him by surprise, but I bet He had better things in mind for us!

Last week I began journaling some of my thoughts regarding the depravity of these times, which in turn led me to something entirely different. It led me to begging God for forgiveness that I know I, personally, don't deserve. Below is my heart-felt prayer:

Father God, forgive us for the MESS we've created. Forgive us for the times we've chosen something or someone else instead of You. Forgive our selfishness. For the times we made it ALL about US and not about You. For the times we've placed You on the shelf, only to pull You out when we are at our wits end and in complete and utter desperation. Forgive us for our greed. For the times when we've place greater importance on wealth and prosperity over a personal relationship with You. For the times we negated a private moment with You because we were just "too busy". Forgive us for our envy. For the times we've wanted something that someone else had so badly that we compromised our morals to get it. Forgive us for trying to do it our way for so long. For pushing You to the side because you were "in our way" from getting what we really wanted to get on our own! Forgive us for forgetting to pray. For waiting until a crisis to cry out to you when all You really want is to hear from us daily. Forgive our hostility. For the times we've been quick to judge others and for the times we've allowed bitterness to reign over us. Forgive us for our rebellion and disobedience. We've strayed so far that it's been hard to hear Your voice or feel Your hand. Forgive us from running from You and for heading in the opposite direction You've called us to. Forgive our pride and for "keeping score" against our enemies. Forgive us, Father, for the MESS we've made. Thank you that Your word proclaims that forgiveness ought to be offered seventy times seven and that You are a God of second chances. Thank You that You have chosen to erase the scoreboard so that our slates are clean! Teach us, Father, how to be better stewards of the gifts You've provided us with. Help us to not take another breath for granted. Thank you for Your unwavering grace and mercy! We are NOT worthy! Amen.

1 John 1:9 (NLT)
"But if we confess our sins Him, He is faithful and just to forgive us and to cleanse us from every wrong."

Finding JOY in the JOurneY,