"You have said, 'Seek My face.' My heart says to You, 'Your face, Lord, do I seek.'" Psalm 27:8 (ESV)
I can't help but remind myself through each of these chapters... "Hammer to the nail... building the wall of joy... so that we have somewhere to land, something to lean against... something to help us to stand when the crises comes." And they will come. "Hammer to the nail. Hammer to the nail."
Chapter 7 was all about being broken. The chapter about... toast. And brothers. And the ugly that can creep so quickly into our broken messes. Even in the midst of counting gifts. The beautiful blessings. The ugly can creep in so easily if we allow it an entry point.
And for Ann, this entry point for the ugly was the morning when brothers broke into battle over.. toast.
And isn't it always the small things that get the best of us? The insignificant? And why is that? How and WHY do we allow the small things to get at us the most? Could it be that it's not really about toast at all? Could it really be that there is something more going on?
Ann longs on page 124, to return to the moon.
Remember the moon?
Ah - the beauty of the moon.
"Why?" She asks. "Can I just go back to the moon and the brazen glory?"
And it's a reminder of the story of The Transfiguration (Luke 9:28-36). The story of where Jesus went up to a mountain and took with him Peter, James and John. It would be a time of prayer. "And as Jesus was praying, the appearance of His face changed, and His clothing became dazzling white." (vs 29). Moses and Elijah appear before them and my bible records this event as being a "glorious sight to see." (vs 31). And then it was Peter who blurted out what I find myself relating to well, "Master this is wonderful!" (vs 33).
Oh - if we could only stay on the mountaintop with Jesus!
If we could only live in the blessing every second of every day!
If we could only feel this much joy all the time!
But we can't. The mountaintop isn't where the real life is lived out. And Ann knows it. She says on page 124, "But there's always the decent from the mount. The meeting of the crowd, the complaining, the cursing. Obvious and immediate transfigurations exhilarate the faith, but the faithful can forget transfigurations, faces that once changed appearances. We betray Who we know. Didn't Peter?"
WOW.
Didn't Peter?
Oh that's right. He really did.
... "I don't even know this Man." (Luke 22:57)
... "No I'm not [one of them]." (Luke 22:58)
... "I don't know what you're talking about." (Luke 22:60)
Three times. He denied. And He betrayed. Don't we too? There' ugly stuff - but there are also ugly people. And sometimes aren't we?
There's always the decent from the mount.
There's always a time when we have to get back to the real world.
And she asks the question that my heart longs to know the answer to, "How do I see grace, give thanks, find joy in this sin-stinking place?" (page 125).
That's the question we desire to have an answer for.
HOW?
Is it possible?
It's driving the hammer. Hammer to nail. Discipline. Practice. "The discipline of thanks only comes with practice." (page 135)
And it's hard. It's really hard. A daily struggle. But VITAL to our survival in this sin-stinking place. VITAL!
Ann chooses in the moment... albeit not immediately... to choose joy. To find out what the REAL problem is.
Because it's never just about toast. There's always more going on. Something else.
Ann so eloquently tells the story of Jacob and his wrestle with God as depicted in Genesis, chapter 32. The story of Jacob wrestling with a man... an unknown man... the day before making peace with his brother, Esau. The wrestle with this man left Jacob with a hip joint out of place. The sinew of the thigh. (Sinew means tendon, but also means the source of strength and power.)
The man... "breaks Jacob." (page 137) But Jacob refuses to let go. And he doesn't even know who this man is whom he's wrestling. "Just a man in the dark, a man he couldn't see. And in the black, all that night, it was the face of God over him that he was struggling against." (page 137)
"God is behind the face."
And there's always the wrestle before we can see God.
"The Lord has to break us down at the strongest part of our self-life before He can have His own way of blessing with us." (page 138)
Glass to God. Can we really see Him behind the faces?
Behind the faces of those we are angry with?
Behind the faces of those who are ugly with ingratitude?
It's a challenge that's for sure! And I know the struggle well.
Resentment or gratitude. Which will you chose?
Because it's not just the recording of gifts that's going to change us. It's the LIVING IT OUT.
We were created to bring honor and glory to the Father. HOW will we intentionally CHOOSE joy? Because we were created to point to Him!
Keep your gaze on heaven friends! Keep your gaze on heaven!
Below is the video from week seven. (Remember to scroll to the bottom of the blog to pause the music from my playlist in order to hear this video.)
One Thousand Gifts Chapter 7 from Bloom (in)courage on Vimeo.
Finding JOY in the JOurneY,
www.wendybender.blogspot.com
0 comments:
Post a Comment